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I Wonder At Times Why Is My Husband Distant To Me

Men are often times emotionally distant for a number of reasons.  Sometimes they just don't know how to express their feelings.  In other cases they have come to feel that you don't really care about their feelings or what they think.
Men want to be good husbands and are afraid to fail.  If they think that discussing their deep feelings with you is going to look like a failure to you then they will seem to be distant because they are not talking to you as much.  What if you make fun of them or criticize them.  That would be devastating to them emotionally.

Then there are those who think that every decision is theirs to make and that there is no need to discuss anything with their wives.  These men may seem distant because they are really talking to their buddies about all the essential things that involve the two of you.

Some men have a lot of work stuff on their minds and don't want to discuss it with their wives because you wouldn't necessarily understand; since you don't know the players involved with the situation.

Men worry about finances and bills and think it is their job to take care of all that.  They may become so focused and worried about these things that they aren't talking as much and seem distant to you.

Men are also not good at multitasking.  They need your undivided attention to talk to you.  Women tend to be making dinner, managing the kids, doing the laundry and listening to their husbands.  Men can't deal with all those distractions and may feel that you are not really listening to them.  Find some quite time for just you and him and say" how was your day today" or "what do you think we should do about xxx".

Some women are so domineering and have to have everything their way to the point that a husband just quits even trying to participate.

Other women are focusing so much on themselves and their wants that they truly don't listen when their husband is talking.  I have a friend that is so focused on what she wants that she will just interrupt me mid-sentence and start talking about what she is thinking about and never realize that I had not finished my sentence much less the thing that I was talking about that was of interest to me.  By the way, she is not married.  Maybe, that's one reason why.

Your husband may have health problems that he doesn't yet realize but is dragging down his energy level. When you are tired all the time, talking and doing social things just takes too much effort.

Loving and lasting relationships between men and women take a lot of effort to cultivate.  Men try, but women it is really up to you.  A man wants a woman that makes him feel good about himself when he is with that woman.  Many women have learned to apply the Paleolithic Principle in relationships of dating or marriage in order to have lasting relationship success with their man.  They have learned that they get more of what they want because they know how to give their man more of what he wants in life.

Unfortunately as we are growing up there is little taught to us on how to have a joyous, loving family relationship.  It is not taught in our schools or universities even.  Many people don't have an opportunity to learn it from their parents because they have been so unsuccessful with their own relationships.

Sometimes you just have to be the first in your family to do something and figure out by yourself how to do it.  When you have succeeded the joy you find will be well worth it.

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